Have you ever noticed the fuzz balls collecting on your pants? I'm talking about the area between your legs where your monster thighs rub together. It's not always noticeable, either. It really depends on the fabric or material of your pants. Regardless, the tiny little fuzz balls are always there to the touch even when you can't see'em. You can sit and pick them off one by one, but that's not going to rid these fuzzy little suckers. After a an entire day of thigh rubbing, they'll return soon enough. Oh, don't fall too much in love with a pair of pants that fit comfortably. Fuzzies are a sign that you're wearing away the material at an accelerated pace. Tiny holes will appear, eventually. Your favorite lounge pants will be in the last of their days. Unless, you can pull off a Martha Stewart and sew on some really nifty patches.
Oh, and let me tell you ... I love to wear Old Navy pajama pants. I go with the seasons. Valentine's Day is coming up and they'll have a cute little selection. The flannel material is a fuzz ball haven. Recently, I ripped the butt out of a pair. Let's just say that I was glad this malfunction happened before I left the house. They weren't even that tight. I guess my fat cells shifted just right that day. Speaking of clothes, have you ever noticed a fat girl wearing a hoodie on a hot day? Yeah, I have been that girl. Guilty as charged. It's uncomfortable. I'm sweating my make-up off my 'pretty' face and my t-shirt that's being bogged down by my sweatshirt is sticking to my back. Okay, so, now you know that I even dress in layers on a hot day. It's total torture. But, we feel so much skinnier in a big ol' hoodie. I feel like it's harder to see my fat rolls. Or, maybe, I have this crazy little notion that I'm able to pull off looking roll-less. Anyway, I'm a hot mess in this sweatshirt and I just want to look good. Please be kind and don't say to me, "Oh, you must be really hot!" I'm going to deny it. I'm going to tell you that I'm not hot even when you can visibly see the sweat beading up on my forehead.
I haven't been to the gym in a few days. I feel like crap already, too. I'm already feeling tired. A little anxious. And, I feel really, really guilty. I know better! Tomorrow, I'm back to the grind. I've experienced a little hiccup this weekend due to outside stressors. I think it's all about my journey. I can't run to Burger King for a BK Oreo Shake whenever I'm feeling the blues.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Day 60
It's day 60. I am currently down 17 pounds. I missed my goal by 3 pounds. I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I really am happy and I'm beginning to enjoy my journey a little more every day. I wish I could take the bioelectrical impedance analysis. It's a test that measures how quickly an electrical current travels through your body. I would love to find out how much fat I'm replacing with muscle on a monthly basis. I bet I would throw out my pesky little scale.
I think an important question to ask yourself would be: Why do you want to lose weight? In the past, I wanted to be 'pretty', 'skinny', and like the girl on TV. Now, it's for totally different reasons. I want to be a healthy human being. A healthy strong heart to keeping me going for many, many years to come. I want to lower my risk of developing different diseases. I have been hard on my body. Yet, it has always been able to bounce back. The human body really is a beautiful machine. I have a daughter that's going to be two in April and I don't want her to struggle with food and her body image like I did growing up. I want to teach her that food is good and nutritious. I want to be active and physical with her. I don't want her to see Momma glued to the couch, sipping on soda, and munching on Doritos. I want her to pick up my good habits and to lead by example. I want more children. Right now, I'm not at a healthy weight. I am at risk for gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and etc. I want to be as healthy as I can be before I try to conceive again. I want to be around to see my grandkids and my great grandkids. I don't want to be the 50 year old woman struggling with back and hip pains. I feel 50 is still young. If I take care of myself now, I'll have a better chance of feeling good in twenty years. I want to feel content in my own skin, too. I do hate my pudgy belly. My extra meaty thighs. My chicken wing arms. I'm not going to aim for perfection though. I know that people age. Bodies soften with age. Boobs will sag over time. You might develop stretch marks, too. That's okay. I worry more about my arteries, my blood vessels, and lungs. It's easy to not think about those things because we take our health for granted. We can't see what's going on inside our bodies. We focus on our shell -- Our stomachs, butts, thighs, arms, and etc. And, we feed off what other people interpret as beautiful or sexy.
I don't always feel beautiful. Today, I do. I think it's because I'm feeling confident. And, I'm taking time to take care of me. That's love. I deserve it.
Gym song of the day: Pearl Jam - Animal
I think an important question to ask yourself would be: Why do you want to lose weight? In the past, I wanted to be 'pretty', 'skinny', and like the girl on TV. Now, it's for totally different reasons. I want to be a healthy human being. A healthy strong heart to keeping me going for many, many years to come. I want to lower my risk of developing different diseases. I have been hard on my body. Yet, it has always been able to bounce back. The human body really is a beautiful machine. I have a daughter that's going to be two in April and I don't want her to struggle with food and her body image like I did growing up. I want to teach her that food is good and nutritious. I want to be active and physical with her. I don't want her to see Momma glued to the couch, sipping on soda, and munching on Doritos. I want her to pick up my good habits and to lead by example. I want more children. Right now, I'm not at a healthy weight. I am at risk for gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, and etc. I want to be as healthy as I can be before I try to conceive again. I want to be around to see my grandkids and my great grandkids. I don't want to be the 50 year old woman struggling with back and hip pains. I feel 50 is still young. If I take care of myself now, I'll have a better chance of feeling good in twenty years. I want to feel content in my own skin, too. I do hate my pudgy belly. My extra meaty thighs. My chicken wing arms. I'm not going to aim for perfection though. I know that people age. Bodies soften with age. Boobs will sag over time. You might develop stretch marks, too. That's okay. I worry more about my arteries, my blood vessels, and lungs. It's easy to not think about those things because we take our health for granted. We can't see what's going on inside our bodies. We focus on our shell -- Our stomachs, butts, thighs, arms, and etc. And, we feed off what other people interpret as beautiful or sexy.
I don't always feel beautiful. Today, I do. I think it's because I'm feeling confident. And, I'm taking time to take care of me. That's love. I deserve it.
Gym song of the day: Pearl Jam - Animal
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